I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
