Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
