It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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