I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just had sex on a roof
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
