My boss' voice literally gives me gas
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
