How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
