no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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