He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
