oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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