my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
