I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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