im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
