either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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