If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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