Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Bring me that man meat
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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