I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
