he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I believe in your delicious
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
