I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
