His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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