Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize