People in love make me want to vomit
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
