Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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