Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
then he tried to convert me to islam
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
