Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
