We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
