On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
