I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
