you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
