Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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