I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
