what if every blade of grass was a penis?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
