when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
