For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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