12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
