The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
God, I missed his penis.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize