i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
