I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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