just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
