i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
