tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
