I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
