party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
