Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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