Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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