i already hear my dad disowning me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
