Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Houston, we have a blender
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
