He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
