I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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