i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
