lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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