First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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