I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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