the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
